Why We'll Pay for a Hotel Room But Not Our Own Bedroom

I've been contemplating something and want to share a strange discovery.

Did you host a Purim party this year? When buying disposables for the seudah, did you buy the plain option, or the elaborate, colour-themed paperware? What was the price difference — a few hundred shekels?

Why do we do it?

And your mishloach manos. Was it two food items in a basket, or something rather more presented? Again: what was the difference between the minimum chiyuv and the accepted standard?

Why are most of us willing to spend so much on something that will be lucky to survive the day before being discarded? Same with our Pesach tables — how much do we spend, and how much effort do we invest, to get the yom tov table looking just so?

The admirable answers vary: doing mitzvos with your whole heart, simchas yom tov, doing things properly. Or, for those less idealistic — or more honest — the social pressure.

An example with no yom tov aspect at all

After birth, how many of us take the upgraded room at the beis hachlama? I was recently there, and guilty of this too. What was the price difference, and what was the rationalisation? Treating yourself after birth, needing an electric bed for nursing, feeling pampered and comfortable. All perfectly good reasons.

And for those who got away to a hotel over bein hazmanim: how much extra were you willing to pay for a room with a view, or an executive suite with fancier decor? Decor, by the way, that you didn't get to take home with you.

The thing I can't square

By all means, spend the extras wherever you like. I'm not giving financial counselling. But here is a mindset that perhaps, with a little thought, we could shift.

We are quick to spend the extra on a hotel stay lasting a few nights. On more elegant paper goods for a party that lasts a couple of hours. On a mishloach manos that is admired for a few seconds.

Yet when it comes to investing in our homes — or better, in our own bedrooms, where we hopefully spend eight hours a day — we don't invest that time or money.

"Why would I want to invest in an apartment that isn't mine?" is a common thought among renters.

Think about how happy you were to pay the extras in every case above, for something short-lived. Now take that same time, effort and energy and put it into something essential. Try using your existing space and conditions and see how it can be upgraded and enhanced — and it doesn't need to break the bank, despite the apartment not being your own.

Which hard-working wife and mother doesn't deserve a hotel respite after each gruelling day, and to be more rested for the one ahead?